"Remember that time..." - A post to share the Christmas, and post-Christmas, craziness in China

This post is basically an attempt to catch up blogging on the recent shenanigans in China. It will be long. You have been warned.

Remember that time Emily forgot her passport and utter craziness ensued to make the train to Beijing?!

AKA: The single most intense half hour of my life

As a frequent traveler in the states I have always prided myself on my organization, preparedness, and timeliness on trips. This however is a different story entirely. It began as a simple weekend trip to Beijing. In an effort to not arrive in Beijing at 11pm I had canceled my last class of the day and had about an hour to make it to the train station. In china this is plenty of time, as they don't often begin boarding the train until 15 minutes prior to departure and going through "security" is pretty much just forming some semblance of a line to shuffle through a metal detector (which is more than often turned off). The first thing I did not allot time for was the shuttle bus to my apartment to be 15 minutes late. I thought this would be a problem and promptly called Emily to see if she had already arrived. She was still on the bus but said traffic in our area wasn't to bad right then.

Now before I continue, let me explain Tyler's phone situation. He paid ￥120 for a phone he should've gotten for free. why? BECAUSE IT IS A P.O.S. THAT NEVER WORKS. okay.

I exited the bus outside of the middle campus and went directly to the street to begin trying to hail a cab. Flailing around in the street trying to get a cab to stop I heard my phone start ringing. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Tyler: Hey, have you left yet?
Me: No, the bus from the new campus to the middle campus was late. I’m still at the middle campus looking for a cab
Tyler：I'm - t- bus - on - Jie.
Me: WHAT
*load noise*
Tyler: I'M AT THE BUS STOP ON YUCAI.
Me: Oh hey your phone is working!
Tyler: I know, I hit it.
Me: Well hey, I'm trying to get a taxi I'll come pick up you. I'll call you when I'm headed your way.
Tyler: If I get one first I'll come to you.
Me: Okay bye.

After having two cabs pass me up after seeing I was a foreigner I all but jumped in front of the third cab. I hauled my backpack and messenger bag into the front seat with me and again my phone began ringing.

Me: Hello?
Emily: Where are you?
Me: I'm in a cab, I'm getting Tyler, we should still make it on time but it'll be close.
Emily：I need you to tell Tyler to call me it's really important.
Me: Okay gotta go bye.

Suddenly I remembered I still hadn't called Tyler to tell him I was coming. It would completely be our luck that we both got taxi's and were headed to get the other.

*ringing, then dead air*
Me: Hello?
Tyler: -a -t
Me: I CAN'T HEAR YOU JUST LISTEN. I'M IN A TAXI ON MY WAY TO YUCAI AND HUEBEI LU ABOUT 1 MINUTE. CALL EMILY RIGHT NOW. SHE IS UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING. GET YOUR DAMN PHONE FIXED. BYE

So we got to the intersection and sure enough there's Tyler on the opposite corner looking as frantic as ever. The taxi driver was starting to get pissed cause I wasn't telling him where to go so, in my total mastery of the Chinese language I just started pointing at Tyler and shouting "PENGYOU JAR, PENGYOU JAR". So Tyler sprinted across the intersection, hopped in the car, and gave the Taxi driver directions to...Emily's school? Here's how that conversation went:

Me: Tyler the train station is the other way!
Tyler: I KNOW WE HAVE TO GO GET EMILY'S PASSPORT AND WALLET SHE FORGOT THEM!
Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE FORGOT THEM?!
*tyler begins shouting "faster" in Chinese at the taxi driver*
Tyler: She's calling somebody to let me in so I can pick them up.
Me: Tyler we only have 20 minutes left.
Tyler: I know this.
Me：fine.

So after a near death experience of our taxi driving crossing a 4 lane street on a red light, we arrived at Emily's school and Tyler took off running. After the longest 5 minutes ever he came running out of the gate. Passport in one hand, a giant wad of 100元 notes in the other. So we were headed across our district to the main train station...at 5:30pm on a weekday. Waiting in the traffic was brutal but I've gotta give our driver some credit cause he sure knew how to weave in and out of the main traffic bundle. We pulled up to the station and Tyler began to pay him and I got my bags situated and took off running. It was at this point that I realized I did not pack well for China. I was one belt to short, and loosing my pants fast, but at this point it was every man for himself. Tyler, the marathon runner he is, sprinted off to find Emily as I jogged my way across the parking lot and outdoor waiting area to the security line. Huffing and puffing I pulled out my ticket and began throwing 'bows and shoving my way through the crowd. I could see Tyler's head above the rest about four in front of me but no Emily. It was not until later that I learned he had used her as a battering ram to quickly traverse the security crowd.

I made it inside and promptly called Emily to find out which waiting room we were departing from. I took off sprinting through waiting room one, looking like god knows what to the Chinese travelers. I got up to the ticket lady and all but threw my ticket at her to hole punch. I ripped it out of her hand and headed jogging to platform 4. I could still see a few people headed in the same direction and hoped the train hadn't left yet. I was almost certain I was going to arrive in time to watch the train pull away from the platform when out of no where in front of me a man turns around and asks frantically in English,"WHAT PLATFORM ARE WE ON". It's Byron! The train was scheduled to leave at 4:54 and I made it onto the train with one minute to spare. Easily the closest I've ever come to missing any trip.

I am certainly not the first to recount this experience on my blog. Both Tyler [click here for link] and Emily [click here for link] have copies I believe. All I can think now is:
I would've paid good money to have been one of those random Chinese people in the Waiting room witnessing 6 foreigners almost miss a train to Beijing (and more importantly OUT of Shijiazhuang).

Remember that Christmas Eve we spent in the hostel bar?

Remember that that time that Canadian came up in Tienanmen and asked if we spoke English?

On Christmas day we decided to go over to Tienanmen sqaure to see Mao's body and kill some time. Now, there are foreign tourists every time i go to Tienanmen but I've never actually had one come up and initiate contact. As someone who is living here, I have adopted the Chinese repose to foreigners:

1. Immediately stop what your doing
2. Stare intensely and for as long as possible
3. Take a picture

You can always pick out the expats because they will stare back at you lol
So Emily, Tyler, Megan(Tyler's sister), our English friends (from the video above), and I were walking along when this shaggy looking guy, around our age, walked up and asked if we spoke English. Probably a little overexcited, we quickly said yes and the boy inquired as to where he would be able to find a hostel to stay at. Yes people, he had come to Beijing without even figuring out where he was going to stay. So we directed him to our hostel, gave him their business card and told him we should meet up later for drinks. Upon returning to our hostel we found him napping on the couch. Later that morning we took him with us to the silk market. He hung out with us all night and he was really an interesting guy. Turns out he graduated with a degree is molecular science and then somehow ended up in Mongolia as a surgical assistant. As he put it, "I pretty much just hold people open". He had to come to China to get his Mongolian VISA renewed and then would be headed back north. He had been in China for pretty much the same length of time as us but seemed to be adopting to Mongolian faster than we were with Mandarin. When we asked when he would be going home he proudly told us he would be taking a cargo ship home, which would take about a year. Apparently it usually costs a lot of money but he wrote the CEO of the shipping company and got a trip for free. It would be a really cool way to see some port cities around the world, but don't worry Mom I have no intention of taking anything other than a plane back to the states.

Remember that Christmas Day we saw that famous dead guy?

I would say I had an eventful Chinese Christmas. Complete with gift shopping at the Silk Market and viewing the (mostly wax and eerily lit) body of Mao Zedong. Also, what brilliant Chinese person thought it would be a good idea to light his head up like and orange Christmas light??

Oh, they must've put a decoration or something on the castket for... nope that's his head

Remember that time we closed out Christmas in the hostel bar, the American way?

Christmas night was a good one. We drank and played games in the hostel bar then saw Byron off back to America at 3am. I think I went to bed around 7am? I think...

Remember that time I ordered a new part for my Xbox and Tyler's sister brought it halfway across the world?

My new power brick finally made it to China! Thanks Megan ^_^

Remember that time my TV glowed and sparks shot out the back?

So last week my TV made a funny noise, shot sparks out the back and stank up my apartment like burned rubber and years of Chinese dust. I fully expected Li to brush this off, as it would still turn on but the screen was all rainbow colored craziness. So, I sent him a little more intense text message:

My TV shot sparks and something inside caught fire. This is an electrical fire hazard and needs to be fixed immediately.

Sure enough two days later the fixit man (as Li calls him) was knocking on my door. In 30 minutes he disassembled my TV, found out what was wrong, and fixed it.

Remember that time I planned out my winter travel a month early, but did't start trying to get tickets until 3 days before departure?

oh china.

The Beijing Weird Food Market

The night china shot down Santa. Sort-of.

Pre-Party Planning:

This last Saturday I attended my first Christmas party in China. It all started two weeks ago when the head of our English Language department sent an email to Max, Tyler and me asking us if we would be interested in attending a Christmas party thrown by the catholic based charity organization “Jinde Charities”, of which he is apparently a volunteer. Originally in this email he also asked what we would be able to do on stage. Apparently last year Lyn (a Drake student) and Leo (another foreign teacher at our school) sang a Christmas song which was apparently the highlight of the night [click here to watch on YouTube]. He was obviously pushing us to try and do the same. The only difference is Leo came to China to sing professionally, so he is actually really good. I myself am not down with the whole “white dancing monkey” routine. I’m okay when the school exploits my race in small gatherings, like lunches and dinners, but this was a whole other level. Plus it wasn’t even University related! Nevertheless I decided to go. See, I actually like James. He is always friendly when he sees me, asking if I need help with anything and reminding me to call or email him when I need something. He can get things done in a timely fashion... like no other foreign language official I’ve met. Plus, he seems to at least understand when I freak about things such as imputing grades. The best part is he pretends to understand and care, even if he doesn’t, pretending is good enough for me.

Winter Travel Plans

embedded pdf doesnt work in firefox, to view original file visit [google docs]

teacher...TEACHER! AH TEACHER!

Word around the water cooler NUCLEAR PLANT

Life drags on in China. I’ve reached the point where not much surprises me anymore, and I really need to get back my sense of adventure. I’ve developed a daily routine and while that is good for my sanity it’s boring for my brain.

Yes, I hate the Chinese education system. No, I have not murdered any students yet.

Classes are good, now that the only class of heathens (the non English majors) is over, and you can rest assured the average grade in that class turned out pretty low. The final for the class turned out fairly interesting; because the school did not assign them a book I had to draw on another source to test their spoken English level. I settled on having them read a 5 minute section from different famous English speeches. The speeches I chose were:

• Barbara Bush – Wellesley Commencement Address
• FDR – 1st Fireside Chat
• FDR – Infamy Speech (Pearl Harbor)
• JFK – Inaugural Address
• Margaret Thatcher – This Lady’s Not For Turning
• Nixon – Checkers

• Nixon – Resignation Address
• Robert F. Kennedy – M.L.K. Assassination Announcement
• Steve Jobs – Stanford Commencement Address
• G.W. Bush – 9/11 Announcement
• Patrick Henry – Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death

Seemed simple enough, I posted .pdf files on my class blog for them to look over and at the beginning of next class each would tell me which one they wanted to read and I would assign them a certain number of words which they could pull from the online copy. Of course, in China, nothing can ever be easy. Chinese logic sometimes makes me afraid for the future of this country. I explained this to them and got every Chinese excuse in the book, “But teacher, I don’t have a computer…”, “Teacher, teacher, no printer…”, “Teacher, to busy, no time!” This problem was easier to fix than I expected though, apparently publicly humiliating and kicking out one liar was enough to kick the rest in line. It’s hard to tell me you don’t have access to a computer when you just had a conversation with me on QQ (not QQ mobile) an hour before class. Additionally, if I see you reading printed speeches for your competition while in class, it’s hard to tell me you don’t know where to find a printer.

Then came the next hurdle. I returned home that night only to be downright assaulted by a mass number of QQ messages from students saying they didn’t understand which section of the speech was theirs, in fact many were freaking out that they thought they would have to read a whole speech. And this is how I got harassed into creating 41 different word documents, one for each student containing their Chinese and English names, speech section and number. I planned two class periods for them to speak and two class periods for teacher assistance. Essentially I wanted to read everyone’s speech so they could listen for rhythm, pronunciation, and emphasis but this just turned into me spending two 2hr classes giving the speeches they would give with no extra time for me to help them. I knew many of them would see this as an opening to invalidate this as their final and thus I began the hunt for video of these speeches that I would be able to send to them…inside of the great firewall of china…

Not surprisingly I was able to find the Nixon speeches and Jobs speech but nothing else was in sight. I ended up ripping the videos off YouTube and posting them on Youku. I wasn’t expecting much and was already researching other methods to get the video to the students when my videos on Youku actually went through review and were posted. So…if I ever disappear in China, we know why.

As a foreigner, you may feel lost and confused in China. It's not just you, the Chinese have no idea whats going on either.

HEBUST - Main Campus

campusShots

My 1st traveling experience: Taiyuan (not taiwan damnit!) Day 3

Taiyuan _03

My 1st traveling experience: Taiyuan (not taiwan damnit!) Day 2

So the next morning I woke up to this:

My plan for the day was to hit up the twin pagoda temple, grab dinner and come back to the hotel. Needless to say, this IS NOT how it went down. It was more like...travel halfway to temple, freak out, hail a cab, cabbie gets lost, go off-roading in a Chinese cab, finally arrive at temple, take a thousand pictures of the most awesome pagoda's in Taiyuan, trek back to my hotel by foot, engage in spontaneous shopping spree, scavenge dinner at Dico's, pass out in comfy hotel bed at 8pm.

So, I had fully planned out what buses, I needed to take for the day. Little did I know a 2-block area around the temple was under construction and had stopped all buses to the temple, and most of the buses in the same area. Before leaving my room I again looked on Google at the route and was confident it should only be about a 30-40 minute bus ride. So I walked about 10 minutes to the bus stop and got on one of the most pleasant buses I've ridden in china so far. As we neared the train station (the halfway point) the bust began to make a noise and the driver pulled it over to the side and ordered everyone out, of course I didn't understand this because I don't speak Chinese, but eventually a lady came over and told me in English that this was the end. This made me VERY confused, because I knew there were supposed to be another 5 or 6 stops. Reluctantly I got off, but I knew the area around the train station well and knew I needed to go NE to the temple. I walked for about 15 minutes before I realized it was super hot and I really wasn't down for the trip. I had the name of the temple written in Chinese so I hailed a cab, but when I showed the cab driver he said no and told me to get out. This was the same with the next three cabs. I gave up and went into the nearest international hotel to see what was up. When I showed the name to the desk clerks they had no idea was I was talking about, it took about 10 minutes before I gave up and just drew a picture of a pagoda and said "lian ge" and they immediately understood. They said it was too far to walk but wrote something in my book and said to give it to a taxi driver. The first taxi agreed to take me. Looking back I don't know if the first few knew there was construction and wouldn't take me, or if they really just didn't understand...but finally I had a taxi. So after 15 minutes of driving he turned down a rather questionable looking street (with lots of construction) and it became apartment that he wanted to turn left but couldn't because the roads were shut, so he just kept going forward. Finally we found a left and he drove up a windy road to a large gate and I could see the two pagodas to be what looked like only a 5 minute walk or so. So I paid and got out, to a GIANT flower arrangement of a sickle and a hammer...I was pretty confused. So was the guard who ran out screaming in Chinese at the cab driver. I just stood there totally lost as what I'm sure was the guard giving directions to the cabbie on where to go, and the cabbie not really wanting to listen. So, frightened, I got back into the cab...and so began my first off-roading experience in China...in an old cab. We drove through the rather uneven construction site for about 10 minutes until we came to a dirt road which led to an alleyway, which coincidentally led to the temple. He didn't charge me, which I was glad because after having him take me first to what I’m sure was a head of government building/training facility I probably wouldn't have paid him.

The most awesome thing though was that because of the construction almost no one was visiting the temple!

[jump to gallery link]

So after a few hours at the temples I decided it was just about time to leave. I knew their probably wasn't going to be any taxis around because it was later in the day so I walked to the nearest bus station. I lucked out that the bus stop sign said there was a bus that I knew stopped near the train station, and there was a group waiting so I hoped at least one bus was still running in the area. I waited, and waited, and waited some more but nothing came. Finally I struck up a conversation with some girls who looked to be near my age. They spoke a little English and were able to tell me that the bus I wanted wasn't running even though they still had it on the sign. When I asked where I could find a main street to get a taxi they turned to the group of about 30 Chinese people and it took all of them to figure out where the nearest main road was lol it was hilarious. The group was mostly older Chinese factory workers, as there was a clothing factory right next to the temple. Eventually they gave me a street name and pointed me South East. So I began walking. After not being able to find the street they had recommended I decided I was going to try and retrace the route the taxi had taken, which led me down one of the scariest streets I'd seen in china...

Possibly the most vacant and creepy large Chinese street I've been down. So I walked down this street for a while, and took my first left. I had turned onto the busiest street in town I'm sure. There was no room to walk on the sidewalk so I was literally following around a man dodging cars in the middle of the street. I knew I was on the right path but still had a ways to go as I was not even at the halfway point yet, so I decided I would browse the street venders and see if I could get any good deals. I ended up with this:

 The train ticket I got from the train station with the help of a seemingly nice Chinese man and daughter...but we'll get to this later. So the rip off kappa bag and spring loaded pocket knife cost me a whole $7, oh china, so expensive. So it took me almost two hours to meander through the street markets before I really started heading for home. Turned out I was really only about a 15 minute walk from the train station, so I decided to go ahead and get my ticket home for the next day.

I approached the gigantic station and walked around the front for about 10 minutes before I gave up on finding the ticket office and decided to give the automated ticket machines a try. So far Chinese technology has been pretty intuitive and I new my train number so it shouldn't have been hard. The English language button helped too. I had everything sorted out and the final step was to scan my id card...but my passport is so old it doesnt have the chip like the new ones. I asked the lady standing next to me if I could use my passport, what I mean is I pointed and the screen then at my passport. She went over to a man who I'm guessing was her father and he came over and said "let me help you, you can use mine", so I was like okay whatever. So he swiped his id, I put in my money and my ticket popped out and I was all set...or so I thought. Later I was comparing my first ticket to my second ticket and noticed my new ticket has some extra Chinese characters on it where before my passport number was present. Then it dawned on me, it was his name and id number on MY ticket. So I was like great, I can try and get a refund and buy a new one, or just go for it and hope they don't notice I'm not Chinese...

Basically after this discovery I was way to worn out to do anything else for the day and just went to bed.

Taiyuan_02

Shijiazhuang Video - Daily Commute

My 1st traveling experience: Taiyuan (not taiwan damnit!) Day 1

So last week i popped onto google maps to decide where to go for national holiday. I got a week off from school but i didnt want to be gone the whole week, and i didnt want to go to far for my first venture out into china. I found travelchinaguide.com to be an amazing site. Not only did it help me pick a place but i also pulled information on sites of interest and an example touring schedule! However, after this trip i now fully understand why NO ONE in china plans anything in advance. A couple of days before leaving i got my ticket

Google helped me discover i was in car 15 seat 5, which was awesome because i was at the back of the train with a window seat! So I awoke @ 5am on October 3rd, and with my planning book and backpack in tow i set out to make it to Shijiazhuang North rail station. There was nobody on the street which was awesome because it took me far less time to hail a cab than i had planned (yes i even timed this out). So, I arrived at the train station an hour early....which turns out is way to early for china.